Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
