just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
