You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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