I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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