He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
