I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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