Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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