I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize