I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize