u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
