Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
