What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
