I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
