I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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