last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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