please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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