you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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