She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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