i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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