I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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