Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
