There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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