My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize