It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
