She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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