i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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