I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You pole danced in your parka.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
