I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
