i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize