I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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