i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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