I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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