a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
