It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize