i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
