We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
