i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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