I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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