Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
