Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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