Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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