They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
