They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
