So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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