Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
