I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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