I am puke
we made out on top of his cat.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
