Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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