i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
