So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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