so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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