Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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