I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she woke up with a sticky ear
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
