I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
