in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
