If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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