Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
