We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
