you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found puke in my bra..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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