I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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